So what do others have to say about tiger moms?
Initially, I attempted to find scholarly journals with the key word
“tiger mom”, but the results were scarce and the articles were very
basic as they merely defined the phenomena without providing much
explanation. In fact, most of the articles were referring to the animal.
Then I focused my research on Chinese parenting, a topic that offered more refined searches. After reading a few articles, I noticed that many sources relate parenting to socialization and explore the relationship between different parenting styles. The journals were mostly studies related to family relations.
One article that made a strong impression on me is the research done by DePaul and Duke University professors called "Maternal Socialization Goals, Parenting Styles, and Social-Emotional Adjustment Among Chinese and European American Young Adults: Testing a Mediation Model." Their research compared the relationship between parenting and socialization goals. Socialization, according to Li, Costanzo, and Putallaz, involves the process for young adults and kids to learn from others at the early days of life, providing individuals the skills and habits they require to survive in society. Socialization goals, moreover, describes the end result of socialization which is the moral outcomes after individuals have learned at a young age.
Furthermore, the paper focuses on socialization goals that are important both to Chinese and European Americans and similarities and differences were examined. The obvious difference between Chinese and European Americans is their socialization goals. Research has shown that European American mothers emphasize self development goals more vigorously than do Chinese mothers while Chinese mothers place a greater emphasis on developing the value of filial piety in their children. The other two sources I found also address the role parenting plays in the socialization of children and further explore how Chinese parenting often leads to certain values that may differ from those developed by Western parenting. These values, I argue, allowed the creation of “tiger moms.”
One value, filial piety, became a prominent theme throughout my initial research. Filial piety, defined in the article as respecting elderly and the sense of responsibility for taking care of your elders as well as obeying them, is mentioned as one of the primary reason for the differences in Western versus Chinese parenting in many families today.
Speaking from personal experience, filial piety is a value that was instilled in me very early on. I was expected to follow my mom’s words because the elders always know best. If I follow what they say, I will have a bright future. The important thing is, the bright future is not only for me, it is for them as well. Besides respecting the elders, taking care of your parents when they grow old is also a big part of filial piety. Here’s what a conversation with my mom would sound like.
“Why are grades so important? They don’t necessary reflect how much I learn in school,” I questioned.
“How else are you going to make a lot of money?”
“I don’t need to make a lot of money to be happy though,” I answered.
“But you need to make a lot of money for me, because I want to move into a penthouse.”
Maybe you are asking why I need to fulfill my mom’s wishes? This is because of the Chinese belief that children own it to their parents for fostering and nurturing them. In return, it is the children’s responsibility to repay their parents when they grow old. On the other hand, in the Western culture, parents believe that it is their responsibility to take care of their children until legal age, then their responsibility is done. They do not ask for anything in return. This may also be one of the reasons why Western parents are more open to what their children want.
Perhaps it is the idea of always obeying one's elders that gives the mom the mindset to rear their child any way possible. By exploring these values more deeply, I believe that I will be able to understand the creation of tiger moms and better understand the dilemma.
Then I focused my research on Chinese parenting, a topic that offered more refined searches. After reading a few articles, I noticed that many sources relate parenting to socialization and explore the relationship between different parenting styles. The journals were mostly studies related to family relations.
One article that made a strong impression on me is the research done by DePaul and Duke University professors called "Maternal Socialization Goals, Parenting Styles, and Social-Emotional Adjustment Among Chinese and European American Young Adults: Testing a Mediation Model." Their research compared the relationship between parenting and socialization goals. Socialization, according to Li, Costanzo, and Putallaz, involves the process for young adults and kids to learn from others at the early days of life, providing individuals the skills and habits they require to survive in society. Socialization goals, moreover, describes the end result of socialization which is the moral outcomes after individuals have learned at a young age.
Furthermore, the paper focuses on socialization goals that are important both to Chinese and European Americans and similarities and differences were examined. The obvious difference between Chinese and European Americans is their socialization goals. Research has shown that European American mothers emphasize self development goals more vigorously than do Chinese mothers while Chinese mothers place a greater emphasis on developing the value of filial piety in their children. The other two sources I found also address the role parenting plays in the socialization of children and further explore how Chinese parenting often leads to certain values that may differ from those developed by Western parenting. These values, I argue, allowed the creation of “tiger moms.”
One value, filial piety, became a prominent theme throughout my initial research. Filial piety, defined in the article as respecting elderly and the sense of responsibility for taking care of your elders as well as obeying them, is mentioned as one of the primary reason for the differences in Western versus Chinese parenting in many families today.
Speaking from personal experience, filial piety is a value that was instilled in me very early on. I was expected to follow my mom’s words because the elders always know best. If I follow what they say, I will have a bright future. The important thing is, the bright future is not only for me, it is for them as well. Besides respecting the elders, taking care of your parents when they grow old is also a big part of filial piety. Here’s what a conversation with my mom would sound like.
“Why are grades so important? They don’t necessary reflect how much I learn in school,” I questioned.
“How else are you going to make a lot of money?”
“I don’t need to make a lot of money to be happy though,” I answered.
“But you need to make a lot of money for me, because I want to move into a penthouse.”
Maybe you are asking why I need to fulfill my mom’s wishes? This is because of the Chinese belief that children own it to their parents for fostering and nurturing them. In return, it is the children’s responsibility to repay their parents when they grow old. On the other hand, in the Western culture, parents believe that it is their responsibility to take care of their children until legal age, then their responsibility is done. They do not ask for anything in return. This may also be one of the reasons why Western parents are more open to what their children want.
Perhaps it is the idea of always obeying one's elders that gives the mom the mindset to rear their child any way possible. By exploring these values more deeply, I believe that I will be able to understand the creation of tiger moms and better understand the dilemma.
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