Trifecta

It's Flashback Day

(3 posts revisited and revised, profile post on new blogger)

Hello, World

Is your mom a tiger mom too?

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom is a book by Amy Chua published in 2011 that became a hotly debated topic among individuals. The book coined and popularized the word “tiger mom” and now, it is the equivalent word used to define a Chinese mom.

So what exactly are Asian moms like? 

Or what characteristics define tiger moms? 

Tiger moms are moms who practice strict child rearing, which most commonly refers to Asian moms who practice traditional parenting. In my definition, traditional parenting is when parents set extreme boundaries for their children and restrict them from many activities such as sleepovers or other social activities that they believe may hinder academics. It also means setting high objectives for their children such as getting into Harvard for college.

Now, I certainly can relate to the word “tiger mom”. The descriptions of a tiger mom fit my mom’s behaviors PERFECTLY.

It is then, when I realized, I am not alone. 

My mom is indeed a typical Asian parent who expects the best out of me. Like Amy Chua’s children, I was put in a Western education system, which is the trigger of the arising conflicts between a tiger mom and a “hybrid” cub.

I was born and raised in Taipei, Taiwan. However, I attended an international school called Taipei American School since 5th grade. The school is an American based institution that emphasizes on Western values and strives to educate students to become creative thinkers, healthy individuals, and versatile learners. 

Now, the problem begins. 

The conflict now arises since back at home, I have a mom who preaches on traditional Chinese values and exemplifies all the qualities of a tiger mom. While in school I am encouraged to explore my talents and build on my individuality, my mother already has everything planned out for me in terms of what will be best for my future. And as far as "best" is concerned, my future has to do something along the lines of being rich. Like all other tiger moms, my mom expects me to work hard and do well in school, which means getting straight A’s. On the other hand, while I have a mom at home nagging about studying all day, everyday, the Western school system preaches on the importance of extracurricular activities and the development of your hobby. 

What should I do? 

Should I go home after school to study so I can achieve the highest GPA possible?

Or should I stay in school to join a club and enrich myself through activities?

"Why put me in an American based institution if you would still want to exercise traditional parenting?" is often the question I have for my mom. However, of course, I never had the chance to speak up to her since that would be considered disrespectful and rude. 

My mom believes that the Western education is better than the Chinese education, and by sending me to school in the United States, it will ensure a better future for her daughter. How ironic! The reason to put me in a Western institution is based on a tiger mom’s hope to pave the path to success for her children.

So why does she think that the Western education is better?

That's what is MORE ironic. 

My mom believes that the Western education system is superior because it encourages creativity and open mindedness. Western education focuses on making individuals and students are allowed to express their concerns and ideas openly with their teachers. However, in the Eastern education system, teachers are the knowledge providers and of higher authority; thus, teachers should not be questioned or challenged. 

By putting me through the western education system, she intends to let me explore my talents and develop myself as an individual; however, she was against the idea of me majoring in fine arts. Like any other tiger moms, she believes that being a business major guarantees a more stable future than that of fine arts major. Once again, on one hand, my tiger mom wants me to learn from the Western education system and develop my interest and learn to have a voice and personality. On the other hand, she’s infringing on my development by making life decisions for me. 

Now I am confused.

Exploring on what tiger moms are like and looking at tiger moms through personal experiences, I would like to share my experience as the kid who has been through it all. Not only am I relating with those like me, but also, it is to speak up to the tiger moms out there since I’m sure the cubs never had the chance to! 

So listen up, it is time to hear a cub ROAR.

Profile

Interesting facts, observations, and stereotypes about the World’s largest population (1,345,421,909). 

Did that grab your attention?

Because it sure grabbed mine.

AllAbouttheChinese is a blog dedicated to explaining every aspects of being Chinese. Being Chinese, I didn't need to learn about how to be Chinese, but I still clicked into the site to find captivating posts with blunt yet witty titles such as "Why We are Captivated by Jeremy Lin" and "Why Chinese People Love Halloween". I am Chinese, but even I am not sure why I am so captivated by the awesome Taiwanese NBA basketball player who goes to Harvard. If I didn't know the reasons, I would like to see what AllAbouttheChinese have to say about my obsession over Jeremy Lin. This blogger is speaking on behalf of all Chinese people (which includes me) and explaining specific aspects of "how to be Chinese". Now, of course, I had to check out what AllAbouttheChinese is saying if he were representing me. From his posts, it seems like it's providing information for people who are not Chinese and through relevant current events, the blogger explains the Chinese phenomenon and culture through short and concise posts. 

So who is he to be representing the World's largest population?

While the author never gave up his true identity and background from his general posts, he revealed from his post, “The Chinese Person’s Guide to Dim Sum Etiquette: Tapping to Say Thanks!” that he was born in Hong Kong and raised in New York City. Furthermore, he explained the objective of his blog, which is to help all the people out there interested in learning about Chinese culture to further understand the oftentimes misunderstood culture through his monthly posts. And according to Alexa, he is delivering his messages just fine as he posts his blog on the 11(million)th biggest website around the world.

Although the central theme of his blog is “all about the Chinese,” the topics range from Chinatown, New York city, Chinese history, ping-pong, to Chinese parenting. All of his posts are focused on his personal feelings and observations of the Chinese culture, which is what I am doing as well. Both of us are detailing our feelings and thoughts based on our personal experiences which makes his blog very interesting for me to read as I find similarities and differences in our thoughts. While the site contains a lot of great information about Chinese culture in general, I couldn't miss the post on Chinese parenting as that is the focus of my blog as I dig into his blogs for further insight. Who knows? Maybe he had a tiger mom too? 

The first post on parenting that I found interesting is titled, “The One Mistake Many Chinese Parents Make". In it, AllAbouttheChinese blatantly points out that the absolute worst thing parents can do to their children is “lowering their self esteem.”

The three ways that parents can do that are:

1. Downplaying achievements
2. Comparing to others
3. Belittling their dreams

I have never thought about it this way, but this is so true!

This is like the ultimate mechanisms Chinese parents utilize!

If I ever came home with anything less than perfect, say a 98, my mom would yell at me for not getting a perfect grade. The conversation he described in his post is EXACTLY what went on in my household.

He nailed it.

Ultimately, as AllabouttheChinese points out,

"lowering children’s self esteem is not like hitting them with a hanger or feather duster, it’s worse.”

The article really reads to me because not only can I relate to it personally as a kid of a tiger mom, but also his opinions on Chinese parenting. Some people believe that the hindering of Chinese children's growth is through the physically beating from Asian parents, here, he argues that it’s these social implications of getting belittled that hurt the kid most, which I agree with completely.

Another article that grabbed my attention is “How to End the Misunderstanding between the East and the West.” I was drawn to this topic because as an Asian who studied in an American international school, I witnessed the misunderstandings and gaps between the two cultures. An example that AllAbouttheChinese points out is that the Easterners regard Westerners to be too “individualistic and are seen as cold blooded.”

On the other hand, Easterners “are more family and relationship oriented as they believe in filial-piety.” Eastern children are expected to stay home to take care of their parents as once the parents took care of them. These differences essentially, as AllAbouttheChinese claims, are what “fuels the cultural clashes between traditional Chinese and Americans.”

He then argues that in order to end this misunderstanding, both party must understand that there are different methods to reach a goal, but ultimately that is the same: for the betterment of life. I can relate this back to Tiger mom and Chinese parenting because although Tiger mom demonstrates tough love, at the end of the day, it is still love. They just show it differently and it is important for both sides to understand that both ideologies are simply trying to raise a better generation.

Even though we focus on different aspects of the Chinese culture, my blog focusing on Chinese parenting and his blog talking about the culture in general, he addresses some issues and differences that are overlooked by me. As I focus more on Chinese parenting and aspects of tiger moms, more insights are delivered on child development instead of the overall Chinese culture. However, his witty and engaging short posts are concise and right to the point, just enough information for someone who wants to learn more about the "math wizards". 

Voice Critique

After reading blog posts by ClownInPathos, I was able to connect to the author almost immediately. 

Why?

Because it is evident that Lan has a very, very strong voice. 

The readers immediately understand her frustration with Chinese parenting styles and how she adores the American culture through her distinctive voice. Through her use of simple diction, concise paragraph structures, short simple sentences, ellipsis and lots of emphasis on words and phrases, Lan's voice addresses the issues in Asian parenting and retains her authoritative stance against Asian parenting. Her unique way of expressing her thoughts reveals her sarcastic, pessimistic personality as an opinionated individual.

Lan’s word choice isn’t exactly colossal. In fact, she uses very common, one-syllable words to get her point across. For example, in her blog post "America, You Really Didn't Make Me Hate Myself.... That Was Just a Misnomer", she uses colloquial words throughout her blog like "hate" "cool"and "bad" so that even an elementary student can easily understand what she is trying to convey. Lan understands that her topic can sometimes be often be viewed as tense, and by using simple, common words, she establishes a platform where readers can easily grasp what she is trying to say. There are no hard vocabularies for people like me, an international student, to look up in the dictionary. Her use of concise words give her whole blog a conversational quality and is perfect for other struggling Asian Americans (who may be also suffering from Tiger parenting) to relate and establish that personal connection with her. But don’t be mistaken, the shortness and conciseness of her word choices also allow her to deliver short, powerful messages rather than elongated ones that can be sometimes be lost in translation. For example, she started her post saying,

"But for now, I would like to back up and explain what compelled me to do that video, and why I did it in the way that I did.”  

not only grabs attention but also allows the readers to understand immediately the purpose of her post as well as her authoritative voice. Her straightforwardness reveals her opinionated quality as a blogger who tends to reveal all her emotions.

Another obvious technique Lan uses to develop her strong ranting quality blogs is through her use of ellipsis. Lan effectively forms short paragraphs that convey her message and a lot of her negative emotions are revealed as she uses ellipsis to indicate that she has more to say regarding Chinese parenting. Through the very common use of ellipsis, Lan intentionally cuts off the reader's minds and adds suspense on what Lan has to say next. For example, in "American Ideals Let Me Dream", she said, 

“...But I don't want to assume that you know this information also...”

to make the readers wonder what she is going to say next by building tension in her sentences and leaving in an intentional silence. It also gives the overall blog a more conversational quality as it hints at Lan’s thinking process with the ellipsis. Also, the ellipsis serves as a point for emphasis in other areas. For example, in the same article Lan said, 

“well, it all goes back to college...” 

which grabs the readers attention and focuses on what she has to say next. It also suggests her recalling from her old memories in college with the use of ellipsis. Because of her common usage of the ellipsis to emphasize different phrases, there are lots of short paragraphs that are easy to read. Coupled with simple diction, the overall readability of Lan’s blog is very high as they serve as hooks within the blogs.  Through the use of ellipsis, it also gives her blog a ranting quality with her distinctive voice which is consistent throughout her posts as well.  

Next, going along with the simple theme in the blog, Lan mostly uses simple sentences to present her thoughts on Chinese parenting. If you read closely into her blogs, she rarely uses complex or compound sentences. She likes to stick with short sentences that can easily and powerfully deliver her message. For example, in "American Ideals Let Me Dream", she said 

“The culture always held me back. I could never properly dream.”

she could have easily made that into one compound sentence; however, she decides to use two simple sentences to emphasize how much the Chinese culture is holding her back. The simple sentence emphasizes her statement and adds on to the negativity without any other buffer words for distraction. It is simple and straightforward; she can never dream. Another example can be seen in the post, 

"My history, MY Chinese history was always never really told. It would always be glossed over, barely spoken about. I could never understand the context. I could never understand why Americans hated Mao so much"

She easily conveys the point to the reader what her message is and done so in a concise manner. By having many simple sentences, it forces the readers to pace out and her thoughts are delivered through simple sentences as if she were recording a video. Through her simple short sentences, it conveys a casual voice where she is just sharing her thoughts and her opinions. She is not trying to make an argument but rather share her experience and use her blog as a channel to voice to the World in hopes to find those experiencing the same. Lan's use of simple, short sentences better depict to the readers as to what kind of struggles or frustrations she is facing in life. It is straight into the point and sometimes give her blog a sarcastic feel, but is able to create a sense of familiarity with the readers as if she were speaking directly to her viewers and having a personal conversation so readers can better understand her rants. 

There is more to her secret. 

Lan not only loves to italicize important words or phrases that she wants her readers to pay extra attention to, but she also uses CAPITALIZATION on words. For example, in "America, You Really Didn't Make Me Hate Myself.... That Was Just a Misnomer," readers are able to see many areas where words are either italicized or capitalized. 

"You had to read A LOT between the lines to get that video and what I was really trying to say"

"I have NEVER blamed you for my problems"

"You also made it WAY TOO EASY for me to hate my parents"

By capitalizing these words to emphasize HOW MUCH, it grabs the attention of the readers as well as exaggerates on the severity of being A LOT and TOO EASY. The pessimistic quality is intensified.

Overall, I enjoy Lan’s voice. Her blog attracts people who want to learn more about the personal life of a tiger kid. It is powerful and distinctive. Through her voice, the readers can really understand what kind of character Lan is. She is a brave Asian American woman who chooses to speak up to a topic that has been traditionally ignored and avoided. Voicing her opinion on this controversial subject, Lan's strong personality exemplified through her voice complements the subject effectively with her strong negative emotions revealed. Her blogs are very readable and she simplifies the topic for the readers, often times even including a YouTube video. Lan is able to communicate her point of view regarding Chinese parenting to the readers so passionately, that it is something that I want to be able to do as well.