A Hybrid Tiger?

Yale? Still not good enough for Tiger Moms evidently. We all know education is highly valued by Chinese moms, aka, Tiger Moms. This is not something new. Tiger Mom’s emphasis on education and academic success is why we have the stereotypes of Asians being good at math or Asians being smart. But are Asians genetically just smarter or like to study? I don’t think so! (I definitely do not like to study) Even though education is highly emphasized in Asian households, it is important to note that it is not the learning process that is important to Tiger Moms, but the results that matter. It is purely the belief that academic success will lead to future life success such as getting a good job. And of course, the definition of a good job is simply a high paying one. We all know success does not mean a high degree in school, look at Bill Gates and Steve Jobs! Nevertheless, one of the most prominent features of Tiger Moms is their requirement of a GPA of 4.0. So ultimately, what matters is not the learning, but the grades. For this reason, a lot of Chinese children are taught to memorize equations, formulas, rather than truly understand how to get those results.

Similarly, my Tiger Mom is the same. She did not care what I was learning in school or whether or not I learned anything, as long as the final results at the end of the semester was an A on the report card. As I mentioned in earlier blogs, the demand for success is due to the traditional expectation that children will support their parents when they grow old. This is an important Confucius value “xiao” that is greatly emphasized and also is in relationship of filial piety.

On the other hand, do Western parents really not care about education? It is said that both Asian parents and Western parents want the best for their children, but the definition of best differs. For Asian parents, it is for their children to have a successful career and make as much money as possible in order to give back to the family. On the other hand, Western parents are said to emphasize more on happiness and children are allowed to explore their own passions. Research has shown that this differentiation is often times due to cultural differences. However, as the world becomes more international and global, we have immigrants in America such as Amy Chua who are still practicing the strict Chinese child- rearing way. Is this passing on of culture going to continue and will Tiger Moms still exist?

Children of second generation in United States, or in my example, being able to attend an international school, picking up ideas from the Western environment that stresses the importance of exploring your passion, doing what you love, may slowly assimilate ourselves into the Western culture. With the publish of the book, there are many responses from both the Western and Eastern side on whether or not Chinese parenting is superior. Interestingly, there is no consensus, as some Westerners believe it is superior while some Asians go firmly against it. There is no clear distinction between the two ethnicities and their thoughts on Chinese parenting, so is culture really what differentiates the two parenting styles? After the publication of the book, more conversations have taken place regarding some practices in Chinese parenting that are seen as "immoral". Will there be the perfect way of parenting or will there be a middle ground as both sides of the parents reflect on their styles? Will second generation kids who have Tiger Moms become one themselves after complaining on the strict rearing methods they’ve been through themselves? Maybe a hybrid parenting style?

What do you think?