My Bookmarking Soulmate

Through the social media-networking site Del.icio.us, I was able to find my “bookmarking soul mate”: Flogus. Similar to my blog topics on Chinese parenting, specifically on the relationship between Tiger Moms and their children, Flogus bookmark topics on Chinese parenting and Amy Chua extensively. Flogus has roughly bookmarked 30 links overall and bookmarks on an average of 5 times every month. Furthermore, the articles are not specifically categorized under tags since the articles regarding Tiger Mothers or Chinese parenting are all categorized either under the tag name “parenting” or “Chua”. Even though Flogus does not thoroughly bookmark and add relevant tags or comments, all the tagged articles are very useful articles that cover a broad range of information on the topic of Chinese parenting. Some articles are based on reactions to the book or Amy Chua’s parenting style; others are on whether or not Chinese parenting style is superior to American style. Lastly, the discussion of child rearing is also covered in his bookmarked pages.

Through Flogus link, the two sites that I found very interesting are “Why this Chinese Mother Chose to Evolve” and “Why AmericanMothers are Superior.” Both articles provide different insights on child-rearing and different perspectives on parenting styles that further discusse the topics touched upon by Amy Chua in the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.

One of Flogus’ bookmarks caught my eye immediately, it was “Why this Chinese Mother Chose to Evolve” by Patty Chang. Before reading the article, I was excited because I thought this article must be about the shift in Chinese parenting towards a more liberal one. As a hybrid child, who went to an international school but raised in Taiwan, I thought this article must pertained to me. However, after reading the article, I was dumbfounded because Patty went beyond explaining simple parenting styles and into the specific values in parenting, more importantly, how those values are subjective.

In the article, Patty talked about her experience growing up under strict Chinese parenting, and how she feared of failing. Her parents were always pushing her to be # 1 so she can be successful. Now 30, Patty went through an Ivy League school and works at a high profiled media company making lots of money. In everyway, she has accomplished what her parents wanted. Nobody can argue her success, or can they?

She pointed out despite all the success, she would wake up in the middle of the night with fingernail imprints on her clenched palms and her inability to get pregnant. She felt like a failure. Then, she adopted a child, G, that changed her outlooks.

Despite Patty trying to work G, G just wasn’t good at academics, and her turrets syndrome didn't help. She hates reading, but loves sports. She can’t do math, but excels in creative writing. More importantly, she is happy and full of energy. For Patty, she sees more success in G than she sees in herself. If the tough love of Chinese parenting is based off deep love, then the parents shouldn’t compare their children, but rather, foster a unique relationship that allow them to do what they want to do. Success is very subjective, and for the reason, Patty decides to evolve her definition of success for G, out of deep, true, love.

This article is so interesting to me because it didn’t only state that parenting needs to evolve, but why. At the end of the day, all the parents want the best for their child, but what is best? This article takes the readers into a different path and evaluates parenting styles through the definition of success.

Another article that grabbed my attention was “Why AmericanMothers are Superior” by Annmaria De Mars. The title itself made it apparent for me that it must be a response to Amy Chua’s article. I was excited to see what Annmaria has to say, especially because she boldly states that American mothers are superior and it’s a direct opposition to Chua’s article “WhyChinese Mothers are Superior.” In this article, Annmaria practically said that she is the same person as Amy Chua with very different parenting styles. Amy Chua is a professor at Yale, and Annmaria is a P.H.D. who won several awards. Annmaria attacked the fact that Amy Chua doesn’t have the credentials to boast because all her kids haven’t even made it out of school (one in college and one in high school). Annmaria, however, has three children that have all graduated and are doing really well in life. One is an award-winning journalist, one is a teacher teaching inner-city children, and the last one is an Olympian medalists. Annmaria took a very interesting approach and challenged Chua by comparing her children to Chua’s and made the opposing argument, which shows the American side of the story. Her perspective as an American parent deepens our understanding on the two different cultures of parenting.

These two articles are what I found most interesting; go check out the other articles Flogus has bookmarked to learn more about Tiger Moms and share which ones stood out for you!